Oh, Dear!!!
The cool breeze caresses my cheek and swirls through my lungs. Mother Nature, offers a calming white noise lullaby. The rushing racing river eradicates all negativity in my mind. A perfect place for my body and spirit. I wish to stay in this beautiful untouched world. Somewhere, in the mountain range stands a quaint and simple cabin by a Colorado river. A tiny place where no technology can reach, not even a one bar cell signal could reach. Photos can only represent a time gone by, but I reflect on it as a way to write on the fly. I wish to return to this magical land. Never a place on earth have I been where I felt as grounded to the earth. Perhaps, some day I can return and absorb countless new memories from this grand magical land.
As I wonder and ponder, my mother's haunting words seep in. I told you so. Or the classic, One of these days you're going to have a little girl who acts just like you. Years later, and now that I'm a mother... I find these words to be true while my mother points and laughs. With a single micro second, I'm pulled from everything by a tiny but ear piercing scream, "Mooommm!!"
Have you ever had one of those days where a rewind button was desperately needed? Or, at the very least a mute button. Today, is one of those days and it's clearly written in bold print on the calendar. The dogs are barking for no other reason other than to hear themselves bark. My child is doing a spot on impression of Tarzan while she runs hazardously through the yard. I said words I never thought I would ever hear myself say. "Don't bite the dog!" Really, did I just say that? Sure, I've said it a hundred times over the past four years but today it struck me, "Why am I saying this?"
This afternoon, an Epiphany smacked me right on the forehead. After a moments thought, it occurred to me that it’s every mother’s right of passage to have moments of sheer uncensored unadulterated... Oh wait, this has to be rated PG?!?! What the heck? I really loved the direction to where this story was heading. But, yeah that’s not it! It’s the moments of sheer uncensored antics of which her pets and children play upon her. Admit it Mom’s you were hoping for something better, weren't you? Well, that must be saved for another day. Mmmm, think on it ladies!
I’m a stay home mommy to three loving gorgeous babies, I love my babies, more than life itself and if you you mess with my babies I’ll summon and project my inner tiger all over you. Lucky for you, this isn't one of those moments. Only one of my babies completely owns human faculties, you wouldn't know it by looking at her, but she does. She displays her human side only when she wants or needs something from me. And, I am okay with this. I know she is beautiful inside as well as out. She'll be five soon and I have never met a more kind, sweet and loving person. The way she loves people she has never met and how she will offer to help an old lady who dropped something at a store is amazing. She is my Monstress and makes me smile and laugh more than any other emotion I can feel. I well up with pride at the things she has already done in her life. I have no clue what the world will look like in another twenty years. But I do know one thing for a fact, it will have a beautiful diamond shining in it and she will stare at the world with grace, kindness and understanding. I and I alone am allowed to make fun of her where and when I wish. One of the few perks of being a mom, if you know what I mean.
I didn't start this to make fun of my child. The main reason I started up is because I'm a writer by hobby, for lack of better words. Honestly, I started writing because of my little girl. It started out with the tiniest reason. One late night or early morning, I was a bit hazy being a new mom and all. I was doing everything in my power to get my little newborn girl to go to sleep. I sang, a familiar lullaby and realized what a horrid song it was. So, I rewrote it to suit me.
Rock-A-Bye baby,
by my bedside,
drift of to sleep
now baby don't cry.
If you wake up,
I'll be by your side,
to hold you and
love you all through the night.
This song spun me into something I never thought I would ever be. A writer. My daughter does not like to have the same story read to her, with the exception of one that her daddy has read to her every night since the day she was born. It's difficult to keep up with new stories. So, instead of searching and buying book after book, I wrote my first story. After she demanded that I read it to her over and over again, I knew this must be submitted for publishing. Geeze! What an experience that was. I submitted to several publishing houses and one by one I was turned down. That's okay, it just wasn't meant to be for other children. I never got down on myself for not being accepted. So, I took the other alternative, SELF PUBLISHING. After the experience I had with it, I'll never do it again. I'm sure there are many people who have had excellent service and success with vanity self publishing companies. I knew better than to stop persevering and taking the worn out road instead. Enough with that, I'm not here to talk about my downfalls, why that would be just boring!!
Back to the point of this entire blog. I guess that's how you say it. I'm going in blind here... You see, I have a severe allergy. We've yet to find the cause of the allergy. Here's my symptoms, sneezing, coughing, blurry eyes, reddening of the face, rapid tapping of my fingers and the last one is a big knot on my forehead. I have pondered and pondered what it could possibly be. I've narrowed it down to maybe something with my desk chair, the fan sitting on the desk. Still I come up with nothing. Before I know, it everything electrical or any kind of technology I'm touching at the time the rapid tapping of my fingers all of my computer stuff just jumps up, sprouts legs and runs away screaming. My assumption is technology is the cause of the knot on my head.... Could it be that I'm allergic to technology and technology is terrified of me?!?!?! I will continue to take my caffeine infused coffee flavored medicine and keep on writing away.
Crazy life Of Mine
I’m so bored
Yet I can not find the time
To write out these emotions
that I bury deep inside.
I’m a mother, a daughter, a wife and a friend.
I’m the banker and the keeper to this crazy life of mine.
But I find myself so bored,
Yet I can not find the time
To write out these emotions
that I bury deep inside,
The fear, the bleed the hurt and need
The fear and the bleed
the hurt and the need
to keep on fighting
to keep on trying
to end the boredom in this crazy life of mine.
